On Popularity

This is me reflecting back on high school and my views on 'being popular'.
I was never one of the cool kids, one of those that could do no wrong and captured people's attention when they spoke, were invited to every party, and always seemed to be having so much fun. I had really good friends who I loved and felt totally comfortable around, but I always sort of felt envious of those who I felt were more popular than I was. But looking back, I'm really glad I was with the friends I had, instead of those that I wanted.

Cause here's the thing. Being obsessed with popularity is a terrible thing. It makes you see people as objects–either step stools to make yourself more popular, or not even worth your time. So you ignore some and idolize some and resent some because they have what you don't. And I just know that even if I had ended up hanging out with the people I so desperately wanted to, I would never feel like I really fit in. I would always be trying desperately to impress them, to be funny, sassy, entertaining, cool, and someone I'm not. I would never really be able to be myself, the person who spins in circles down the hallway of my high school, who sings broadway songs at the top of my lungs and was never afraid to tell my friends that no, I wouldn't be going to that party, or that I'd rather watch a different movie. When I'm with people I'm not intimidated by, I have so much more fun.

I just wish I could have appreciated that in high school.